


Speechless

by FelineBlue



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, Original Poem, This is extremely sad I guess, Why Did I Write This?, its all just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8259103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelineBlue/pseuds/FelineBlue
Summary: “I lost you.”He mumbled softly, a cool breeze then washed over him as his clothes rustled softly against the cool metal of the lion's snout.





	

The stars above them were bright, the dark navy blue and purple of the sky mixing together to create the perfect picture of a storm that was restless at sea. The moon hung low over the castle as the lions lounged along the shoreline of the beach on the planet that they were currently stationed on. The bright light illuminated the castle in such a way that it would be hard not to miss such a beautiful sight that clear evening. It was like a giant crystal, craved into the mountain side of the sandy shore and glistened under the moon as if it were recharging in its rays.

Lance was laid out on top of Blue's large head, his arms were crossed over his lower stomach as he looked up into the dark sky and stared at nothing.

“I lost you.”

He mumbled softly, a cool breeze then washed over him as his clothes rustled softly against the cool metal of the lion's snout.

“I lost all my senses, tonight.”

Lance breathed in a deep breath as his eyes fell closed, not wanting to see the bright and shiny stars up above. They were too much for him tonight, if it were any other day than he would have welcomed it but today was their anniversary.

But Keith wasn't there to celebrate it with him like he should have been.

“There's no more light when you're not around.”

Lance's chest tightened as he could remember the bright yellow flash before his eyes. The Red lion crashing head on into a Galra battleship at top speed before the loud scrapes of metal and the combustion of engines filled his ears. He had heard nothing else after that except for the screams of his other teammates and the chocked breath of Keith as Lance watched the Red lion explode into nothing but fire.

“I don't see colours as bright as they used to be when I cannot see your smile.”

He chocked back a sob as he saw Keith's wide smile take up his whole mind's eye as he had looked down on Lance after they had finished their first ever successful Galra battleship take over. They had freed a few planets in that galaxy as well as obtain enough information to help figure out where the Galra's next move was and where Pidge's family was being held captive. It had been one of the best days for Team Voltron.

It had also been the first time Keith had ever opened up to Lance about how he felt and told him he loved him.

“I don't understand the concept of breathing if I cannot look into your eyes.”

Lance's whole body shook as he rolled over to the side, his hands clutching his stomach hard as he tried his best not to cry out. He could remember the first time he had ever had a nightmare in Keith's bed and had no idea what was happening. He could remember screaming out for him and clawing at his own skin, drawing blood and staining the dark sheets that felt as if they were strangling him. His breath was caught in his throat as he tried to fill his lungs with air but came up with no success. Lance's eyes were frantic as he tried to see what was going on before they settled on the very bright violet of his teammate's eyes. No, not teammate. His lover, Keith. Keith was his and he would keep him safe.

Or he would have if he were still with him.

“I miss you more than you'll ever miss me and it hurts knowing that you're finally gone.”

Another shiver shook his entire body as Lance pulled his coat closer around himself. He pressed his face into the red leather jacket that he was lying on top of as he tried his best to breathe in the familiar smell that he knew was already gone. They had had a fight a couple of nights ago before Lance had finally lost him. They were speaking with each other about the plan of attack but it slowly escalated into what Keith wanted from Lance and what would happen when this was all done. Lance knew he wanted to go back to earth and start a family. He wanted Keith with him and he wanted the whole happily ever after because it was his dream to have a big family and make his parents proud. Lance wanted to be their first son to become a fully fledged fighter pilot and come home to finally show them he had done it. Keith was always in his future plans when he decided to think that far ahead but Keith didn't want any of that. He wanted to keep exploring what was out there but he wanted to do it with him. Keith didn't want anything else but Lance at that moment.

Lance didn't understand what Keith had meant until it was too late.

“I couldn't be there to save you while you were falling and as you fell, I broke in half watching you.”

Lance's heart squeezed itself as he let out a heart wrenching sob as he cried into the jacket. His hands let themselves go of his stomach to clutch at the soft leather as he screamed bloody murder into it. His lungs were working over time as he tried to take in deep breathes but he couldn't stop what he was feeling.

He couldn't get the image of watching Keith get blown up right in front of his eyes out of his head. The screaming filled his head once more as the fire engulfed everything, eating up whatever Keith had mumbled out into their headsets before the audio cut out and left nothing but static.

It was haunting his every waking moment.

Lance was slowly losing everything he once had and was doing nothing to stop it.

He wanted nothing more but Keith to be alive again.

“You've left me speechless. You've left me empty. You have left me shattered into a million pieces and I do not want to stop.”

The universe was quiet. The stars above seemed to dim as the moon slowly faded away, the night's sky darkening into nothing but black. The waves came in and out silently, the shoreline washed in dull white light as Lance fell apart all over again.

Today was the day Lance and Keith promised themselves to each other.

Today was the day that Keith sacrificed himself for his team.

Today was the day Keith died.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been doing well, and throwing myself into writing seemed to hurt me further. But I'm coming back and this is really rather emotional lol I used an original poem that I wrote in highschool and its what Lance is saying because I know when I cry; I end up breaking down and talking about whats hurting me. I feel like Lance would do the same since he never shuts up so yeah, ugh yup. This is a thing.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading it <3  
> I do appreciate every comment and kudo and just you guys in general.


End file.
